Love is blind – or is it?
When we first meet someone, we are on our best behavior. We wear attractive clothes, act appropriately, and try our best to convince the other person that we are a ‘winner’ who would be a good catch. Once we hook them, we can start to let it all hang out – and so can they!
Love Starts To Dim The Faults
After a while, we let our true colors shine through. Anything that we thought would have annoyed or been disgusting to our partner when we were dating suddenly gets displayed in HD. These are the habits that only our mother could love; yet, we feel comfortable enough with our partner to show them.
This is when love does seem to become blind. Could you imagine if you were to display these traits in the beginning of the relationship? Most of us wouldn’t make it past the second date!
After the relationship has progressed, we are all able to look past small things that would otherwise turn us off – because love makes us, in essence, blind to those faults and allows us to accept the person for who they are.
When Love Really Seems To Go Blind
There are times that small, annoying habits and behaviors are not all that come out.
Sometimes we end up in an unhealthy relationship and find out our partner is abusive, jealous, addicted, cheating, or just plain nasty. They hid these things from us until the moment that they knew we loved them and we would have a hard time leaving them.
I’ve been there, as I’m sure many of you have.
Now in love, it becomes a struggle to decide whether or not to stay or to leave. We can even close our eyes to the truths all around us and allow an unhealthy relationship to flourish because of our love.
What’s Really Happening?
We are not blind to what is happening.
We see it.
We feel it in our soul.
We know that things are not going the way they should. But, our brain has suppressed the ability to think critically about the whole thing.
If someone else were to be in our relationship, we would view it with a critical eye and say things like, “That behavior is not healthy!” or “She should seek help!” But in the relationship our love for the person causes us to soften those faults, which can keep us stuck in the unhealthy relationship.
Studies have shown that the brain doesn’t feel the need to be as critical of someone we love. And when we have a hard time making negative judgments about someone, we don’t make the same decisions about our relationship that we would for someone else going through the same situation that we are.
Are You Letting Love Blind You?
Here’s the thing: you are not really blind when you are in love, you are just not seeing as clearly. You don’t react as harshly to negative things because you don’t judge them as harshly as you would if you were outside of the relationship.
But that is not an excuse to stay in a healthy relationship. If you know what your partner is doing is wrong, hurtful, or harmful, then you cannot shut your eyes and ignore it. You need to admit that there is something wrong, and as hard as it can be, do something about it.
If you don’t take action to fix an unhealthy relationship, then you will still be in that relationship months or even years from now. That is not something that you should want for your life.
Don’t let love blind you from doing what you need to do for your happiness. Let yourself admit that if you were not in the relationship, you would advise that you take action to make things better – and then follow your advice.