My husband and I often comment about how people are so self-absorbed in their day that they don’t even realize you are there. We have had people bump into us without being aware, cut in front of us in line without a twinge of guilt, and do other selfish things that, we assume, they don’t realize is selfish. They just think it is the way life goes. My husband and I are just not like that. We are acutely aware of other people and how our action and reactions affect their life. But, we were not always that way.
How I Finally Learned That Making Other People Happy Made Me Happy Too
Obviously I had many small experiences where the lesson was there – but I didn’t quite understand it yet. That is how the universe works…it gives you example after example until you learn what you need to learn.
One day, though, the lesson was enough to really hit me and since then I have consciously tried to make other people happy for a few reasons that I will talk about in a second. First the story.
I was working at a senior’s home. If you have never been, there are a lot of grumpy people living in senior’s homes. They have been taken away from their homes, family, friends, and everything else, and many of them resent that fact in a huge way.
One woman was so grumpy that I never saw her smile. She was perfectly able bodied to do things for herself, but she chose to let the staff take care of her every need instead. She would not clean up after herself or take care of herself and she sat in a chair and watched TV all day.
One day I blew up. I wanted her to snap out of it and realize how she was treating other people and how much happier she could be if she would just become more respectful and aware of how much others do for her. But, instead of doing it in a loving way, I ranted. Everything I thought came out, and it was in a very non-constructive way. When I was done, I felt very bad. Interestingly, she didn’t care at all (which is another lesson I got from that time…other people don’t change just because you try to make them aware of why they should.)
In any case, this was the first time that I realized that my actions towards other people had a strong impact on how I felt. It didn’t matter that she didn’t care, because I did. I didn’t do something nice for her; instead, I tried to bring her down and make her feel bad about how she was acting, and that made me feel horrible!
I went to her room and apologized to her. She gave me her usual dirty look and I took it with pleasure, because at least I had acted in a way that was positive for her and for me.
Since that day, I have been very aware of how my actions make other people feel, as well as how they make me feel. I go out of my way to be considerate, gracious, helpful, understanding, and loving, because I know that we will both benefit from it. Most people appreciate the kind gestures or words. Some people don’t care either way. But my happiness always benefits from being the kind of person I want to be.
Don’t Let People Walk On You, But Don’t Be Purposefully Mean and Unkind
It may sound like I let her walk all over me, but that’s not the case. I simply let her be herself, and since she was not causing me any physical or mental harm (besides a little frustration), I decided to be my best self – even if she couldn’t be her best self.
Dealing with conflict doesn’t have to be loud and full of hate or anger. You can do it in a loving but firm way and feel good at the end. When you do use hate or anger, you feel worse about yourself and the situation every time. Those are very strong, negative emotions to have and they cannot make you feel good.
In my experience, making other people happy helps you:
- Feel good about your contribution to the world
- Brings good karma back to you
- Allows you to stay on a high vibration for attracting good things
- Makes you happier in your day and life
- It helps you to avoid the ‘why did I say that thoughts’
- It allows you to stay out of that angry, hateful place
- It helps you to build strong, loving relationships
- It attracts other people to you
Reach Out To Others With Happiness
I found this short little message on YouTube. The thing I liked is that he says, “…if you are going through this world and you are happy, you will even be happier if the other people around are also happy.” This is such a true statement. Not just with strangers and community, but with intimate relationships as well. You can improve all relationships (including the one with yourself) by reaching out to others with happiness.
Bottom line: Want to be happier? Make other people happy.
Feel free to share how you make other people happy, and how it makes you feel, in the comments below.