Life is not easy. We have to make mistakes and learn lessons in order to live the life we want. And, the lessons that impact our lives the most are usually learned the hard way.
- 1 Lessons In Love Learned The Hard Way
- 2 Lessons In Work-Life Balance Learned The Hard Way
- 3 Lessons In Business And Career Learned The Hard Way
- 4 General Life Lessons Learned The Hard Way
Lessons In Love Learned The Hard Way
Most of us have to date a bunch of losers (and go through relationship hell) before we adjust our ‘picker’ and only accept someone good into our lives. I’ve had a ton of lessons in love that I had to learn the hard way. For example:
- Don’t date someone addicted to drugs because those drugs will always come first
- Don’t support someone financially because they will always expect that support!
- Don’t try to change someone because you can’t change other people, and the headaches (and fights) that come from trying to change them is not worth it
- Don’t lower your standards just because you are sexually attracted to someone. That attraction will fade and you will be left with someone who doesn’t make you happy at all
- If you don’t have trust in your relationship, it’s going to be a living hell!
- Assuming the worst (when you have no idea what is really going on) is also going to make your relationship a living hell.
This video may look familiar to some people. I know I had to learn not to assume and overreact the hard way!
Lessons In Work-Life Balance Learned The Hard Way
Work is a part of life. According to this article, we work about 32% of the years we are able to work, which equals out to 86,480 hours (based on the UK life expectancy of 80).
That is a good estimate, but I know that my husband has always worked 10-12 hour days at his jobs, and even put in time on the weekend sometimes, so that is really only an estimate.
Moreover, anyone who runs their own business knows that you can easily work way more than that. And finding a balance between personal life and work life can be really hard.
I have known a few people who have lost relationships because they spend too much time working. That is definitely a lesson learned the hard way. If you devote too much time to work, and not enough time to nurturing your relationship, then it’s hard to maintain a healthy and happy relationship.
Not only is it important to find a work-life balance so that you can spend time with your family and friends, but it is also important to your creativity and productivity.
Taking time to breathe makes all the difference
A lesson that I am continuously learning and re-learning the hard way is that I need to give myself time to rest if I want to be my most brilliant, creative, productive self. It is so tempting to keep on going even when you’re completely exhausted just to get those things crossed off your to-do list. This strategy never works in the long run.
Here’s an experiment that I’ve done for myself several times – I took time to rest when I felt I didn’t have time to rest and still completed what I wanted to do in an easier and more creative way than I would have otherwise. Yet, despite the evidence, our work-hard culture still has a hold on me. My automatic response is to keep on pushing and it takes some determination to stop and do things the easy way. – Tat
Lessons In Business And Career Learned The Hard Way
Oh man, the many lessons that I have learned the hard way in my jobs and in my business are staggering.
When I first started online, I put all my effort into one blog. It started to do well, I started to earn money, and then Google decided that it wasn’t a blog worth being high in their search engine results. I had put all my focus into building links and increasing the on-site and off-site SEO on that blog and nowhere else. I lost all my income instantly and it never came back. It felt like I had wasted a year of my life. But, the lesson I learned the hard way was that you can’t put all your eggs in one basket. You have to have different avenues for people to reach your blog, and you should have income coming in from more than one place to ensure you are still earning if one source crashes and burns.
Christopher also has a business story:
Stick to what you’re good at
Last year, in an attempt to increase my income, I dabbled into becoming an SEO specialist and tried my hand into different job sites. Being a blogger, I was working at a disadvantage because there are arguably much better SEO people out there vying for the same position as I do. I spent hours auditing potential client’s SEO website performance manually (!!) in an attempt to build leads and create opportunities for me. However, since SEO is not my strongest suit, I eventually decided on taking up more SEO jobs and just focused on building up my writing portfolio. From there, I was able to find a niche and never looked back ever since.
The lesson here is that I should have stuck to my strengths and built my career starting there. It was hard because, while trying to find work as a SEOr, I didn’t earn enough money for the next two months. This was the time when my wife was pregnant and I had little funds to support us. Therefore, by sticking to my main skill set, I was able to make more opportunities for myself and make a better living because of it.
General Life Lessons Learned The Hard Way
Of course, every day there is an opportunity to learn a lesson the hard way.
For instance, I heard a story on my local radio station that made me cringe.
We have a national park close by that has free roaming buffalo. I have come face-to-face with a buffalo once, and I have never gotten out of the car alone since. One woman, though, decided to go on a hike by herself and ended up having to pass a herd of buffalo. Instead of turning back, she decided to try it, and she got charged by an adult buffalo. She flew in the air, landed on the ground, and had to wait a few hours for help. She had broken some bones (she’s very lucky she didn’t die). She said that the lesson she learned the hard way was that you should never hike alone.
Other lessons that I have learned the hard include:
- Talking about people negatively behind their back can have some very unpleasant consequences
- You should spend as much time as possible with loved ones because eventually they will be gone
- Judging people makes you unhappy
- Not all friends are actually your friends
- Not everyone is as nice or as mean as they appear
- When you try to be someone you are not, you cannot be truly happy!
Phil had the following to say about lessons learned the hard way…
Too many to mention and too private
In my experience everything worth learning is difficult. Many are too private for a blog post, but others include:
- Being too trusting – in personal and work life
- Assuming everyone at work has the same philanthropic motivation as me, when they are out for self-advancement at my expense
- That I should have looked after my health and fitness when I was younger, then it would be easier now
In the end, as Phil says, everything worth learning is difficult. The lessons learned the hard way are the ones that really stick out and help you make better choices in life. My advice – Every time something bad happens from a choice you make, take a second to reflect, find the lesson, and move forward in life determined not to learn that lesson again.