It can be really, really hard to get over someone. Especially if you loved them deeply and the break up was something that you would have rather not have done, but was necessary for your overall happiness. The break up can literally hurt the heart, shake up the mind, and cause a bunch of problems both physically and mentally.
But as much as it hurts, you have the power to get over someone you loved passionately. There are things that you can do to help yourself heal, move past the pain, and move forward with your life in a positive and happy manner. I know, I’ve done it! You can do it as well, you just have to start taking the steps.
- 1 Some Tips To Help You Move Forward
- 2 More Important Tips To Get Over Someone You Loved
Some Tips To Help You Move Forward
It can be hard to think rationally right now. Your thoughts are run by your powerful emotions.
You may be tempted to do things that you don’t normally do because your emotions are in charge and instead of acting logically, you want to do what you feel is best to help heal your heart or make you feel better (like call your ex and try to work things out).
Unfortunately, those things that we feel we should do are often the things we should absolutely NOT do.
Do Not Stalk Your Ex In Any Way
When I was younger, stalking was a lot harder to do, but now with the Internet and social sites, it is almost impossible not to see your ex and what they are doing. After your break up, you need to distance yourself from you ex, as much as possible, so that you can start to move past your emotions and heal.
The more you watch what they are doing or hear about their happiness, unhappiness, or anything else, the longer it will take for you to move on. Your focus should be your health and happiness, not on their life (or what you see of it through social media.)
This may mean you need to get off Facebook or other social sites for a while – but it will be worth it in the long run.
This doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends in the future, or even be a part of their life if you share children or pets, but most people are not able to continuously watch their ex move on without holding on to emotions that don’t serve them well.
Some people will tell you that in order to get over someone you loved you need to destroy all old photographs and get rid of any items that connect the two of you together, but I don’t think that is a good idea. After your emotions have subsided, and you view your ex as a valuable person from your past, you may want to have those memories to look back on. And if you don’t at that point, then you can easily get rid of them then.
My point is, don’t act solely on emotion when it comes to getting rid of things that may not be a big deal in the future or hold the type of value you place on them now.
That said – if you have an item that makes you extremely mad or sad to look at, you may want to get rid of it (or at the very least give it to someone else for a while). All physical items have an energy attached to them, and if an item’s energy is bringing you down then it will hold you in that negative place for much longer than you need to be there.
For instance, the gift that your ex bought you on your anniversary probably made you feel very good when your relationship was going well, but now it affects your energy in a very different way. You may feel sad when you look at it and anger towards your ex and maybe even yourself. It is best to let that gift go for a while so you can disconnect from that energy and allow yourself to heal.
Moreover, holding on to these things can cause you to say things like, “We had such good times together and we should still be a couple!” and, of course, because your mind influences your body – you will feel the pain even more of being disconnected from your ex. That will make it even harder to move on from the relationship.
Don’t Focus On The Past Relationship
When you have to let go of someone you loved passionately, you will be focused on good things that happened, bad things that happened, and a lot of regret, anxiety, and wishful thinking. In other words, you will be far away from the present moment and that will not allow you to move forward.
Dwelling on the past in a waste of your time. It will not fix what happened or changed what will happen – it will just keep you prisoner in your past relationship even though you are no longer in it!
If you want to move forward and let go of your ex and your past relationship, you need to learn how to focus on the present moment. I guarantee that you will feel better about yourself and the situation and finish the healing process quicker.
Use all of your senses and really stay present in your life.
- Laugh with your friends, family, or even strangers.
- Take walks and allow yourself to feel the wind and hear the birds.
- Go to movies or art shows that demand your sense of sight and help you stay focused on what his happening around you.
The more you stay present, the easier it will be to let go of the negative and harmful emotions of the past and get over someone you loved.
More Important Tips To Get Over Someone You Loved
If All Else Fails, Seek Help To Get Over Someone You Loved
The process to get over someone you loved involves a ton of emotions. First you feel pain, then you feel sadness, then you may feel anger, but eventually you feel acceptance. You can see the relationship for what it truly was and accept that while you learned a lot from it, the relationship was not meant to be a permanent part of your life.
If you are having a hard time doing that, don’t be afraid to admit that you may need some help getting over your ex. If you loved them passionately, then your feelings may be too strong to overcome by yourself. Someone else may be needed to help you see the relationship and the future differently so that you can start to heal and be happy again.
The truth is that you do have to deal with your emotions and change the way you view your ex and your past relationship in order to move on. If you try to brush your past under the rug, then it will eventually make its way back into your life and affect your happiness in some way.