After a divorce, no matter what caused the marriage to dissolve, there are things you can do to learn how to be happy again. Divorces are loss and can be just as difficult to overcome as a death. In fact, because your ex is still alive and well, grieving can be more difficult given that there isn’t an opportunity for proper closure and acceptance to help you move on. If you have children, divorce can be even more challenging because you will still be in contact with the man or woman you thought you would be with until the end of time. But if you follow these four suggestions, you can learn how to be happy again:
Suggestion #1 – Take Time To Grieve
Any loss requires grieving so you can emerge on the other side in a happier, healthier state of mind. Even if divorce came about due to infidelity or some other negative actions, you still need to take time to grieve over shattered hopes and dreams. Perhaps the present wasn’t ideal, but at some point you loved this person and pictured yourself spending your life with him or her forever. Acknowledge the loss so that you can move forward.
Suggestion #2 – Surround Yourself With Positive People
If you are angry at your ex, it might feel invigorating to be in the company of people who constantly support you by badmouthing your partner. Of course, we all need a bit of validation but to be in a constantly negative environment that focuses on the flaws of your former spouse locks you into the past. What you need is a fresh start and refreshing environment to begin you on a new, healthier path. Be in the company of those who make you smile and feel alive.
Suggestion #3 – Enjoy Your Alone Time And Pamper Yourself
At first, it can be difficult with the house feeling so empty. But chances are, when you and your spouse were in the home, it provided a less than relaxing environment. Now is the time to get to know yourself again and enjoy the serenity. Take a long bath, read a book, exercise and do whatever else makes you feel good. Pampering yourself is a must right now, so indulge your body and mind in some quality time spent just on you.
Suggestion #4 – Don’t Jump Into Another Relationship
No matter how tempting it may be, don’t enter into another romantic relationship until you feel happy again. Many people panic, given that they’ve been 1/2 of a couple for so long, and they begin dating believing they cannot function on their own. Some date because they need the attention, others lack self esteem and feel they must have a partner to feel whole. The truth is that you must grieve and find solitude and happiness in yourself before you can give to another person. No one can make you forget the loss you are going through, so don’t look for others to help you escape your work at hand.
When adjusting to life after divorce, it is important to remember that our problems will always find us. You need to grieve over the loss, take time to pamper yourself, surround yourself with positive people and avoid getting into another relationship until you are feeling happy and secure once again. Grieving, like divorce, is a process. There is no shortcut to take to avoid working your way through the stages of grief. Once you learn how to be happy again, the future will be yours for the taking.