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How To Deal With Rejection For The Rest Of Your Life

Can you deal with rejection? If not, you better find some strategies to deal with it because it's going to be around for the rest of your life.

Rejection is a part of life, but it still sucks. I’ve been rejected in my offline jobs, but it hasn’t even compared to my online jobs.

I remember when I first started writing online, being rejected felt like getting stabbed through the heart. Yes, it was actually that painful.

I would go through a wide range of emotions, such as hurt, denial, anger, and fear, and then after a few days (sometimes longer) I would get back to the daily grind with just a little sting left over.

Now, though, I’ve dealt with rejection repeatedly for years and I have a much better strategy for dealing with it.

One Tip That Can Help You See Rejection Differently For The Rest Of Your Life

There is one thing that can help you see rejection differently and deal with it better, and that is to remember that everyone has different beliefs and standards about what is acceptable.

In other words, many times you are not being rejected because you are not good enough – you are being rejected because you are not similar enough. And that is something you should celebrate! You are unique, and you don’t conform to what others want you to be. That is great news!

This awareness may not feel good right now, but the more you sit with it and think about it, the more it will feel like something natural that doesn’t really deserve your anger or hurt.

It’s hard to be angry at someone for having different beliefs than you. We are all different and we all see life in a different way, which means that our beliefs are not always going to line up. You wouldn’t want someone angry at you for what you believe. Right?

It’s also hard to really be hurt when you understand that their rejection had nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. They made their rejection based around their beliefs and their standards, and just because you didn’t fit into them doesn’t mean you are less of a person – it just means you didn’t fit into their version of what is ‘right’.

How I Use This Awareness

For a few minutes I feel hurt that they thought I was not good enough (I don’t think you can ever escape this feeling), but then I remember that we all have different standards of what is good enough and what’s not, and because I’m pretty confident that I have some good standards, I get on with my life.

For instance, I once had a client who wanted articles written for men in the dating niche. I have been writing in that niche for years, so I thought I would be a perfect fit for this client. Unfortunately, his version of dating advice leaned more towards the Pick Up Artist (PUA) side of the niche, and my ideas didn’t exactly line up with his.

I had written about 20 articles for him, and he rejected all of them. After my initial shock, hurt, and then annoyance of what I perceived to be wasted time, I realized that I could just post the articles to my blogs because they fit in perfectly with the message I was trying to get across.

A few minutes later I was busy taking action on putting those rejected articles to good use, and I felt better.

Remember, Rejection Happens To Everyone

It’s also important to remember that rejection happens to everyone.

  • Anyone who rejects you has been rejected.
  • Anyone you sit next to…anywhere, has been rejected.
  • Everyone has been dealing with rejection since the beginning of time!

The trick to living the life you want is to understand that rejection may happen, move forward despite the possibility, and then deal with it effectively when it does.

4 More Insights To Help You Deal With Rejection

If my way of dealing with rejection doesn’t help you, then maybe one of the following four people I interviewed can help you.

Q. Have You Ever Been Rejected In Any Area of Life? If Yes, Will You Share?

A. Phil Turner (The 5 Currencies Guy)

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I have been “rejected” many times. In love, in my job…

In love, looking back it was good, because it would never have worked out.

In my job, that hurt, especially when they appointed a plonker instead of me.

 

A. jaideep (A techie by profession, blogger/writer/poet/learner by passion)

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Yes, I got rejected in quite a few areas in my life at different points in time.

A. Kai-Ashley Clifford (Transformational Success Coach)

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I was constantly rejected as a child and it stuck with me my entire life, up until recently. I was such a sensitive child and was teased constantly day in and out. This led me to believe there was something wrong with me and it was all my fault! I stifled all of my creativity, telling myself I wasn’t talented or creative – but the truth was I was scared of being judged and publicly embarrassed!

A. Gary Dek (Gary at StartABlog123.com)

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Yes, of course. Who hasn’t? If you’ve never been rejected, you’ve never reached beyond your comfort zone, and that is no way to grow – mentally, physically, or emotionally – or experience life. For this reason, there isn’t a specific example worth sharing. From romantic relationships to business endeavors, it’s good to hear “no” once in a while because it strengthens you, forces you to be resilient, and develop a thick skin.

Q. Do You Have Any Tips For Dealing With Rejection?

A. Phil Turner (The 5 Currencies Guy)

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I deal with rejection by moving on. At work, I buried myself in the aspects of the job (teaching) that I enjoyed.

In love, sometimes it was tough with a few sleepless nights, but in the end, I see things from her point of view and I just try to keep busy. I never go looking for a replacement for my lost love – It is important to grieve so I can move on.

A. jaideep (A techie by profession, blogger/writer/poet/learner by passion)

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There are many tips for dealing with rejection:

1. Identify the reason of rejection.

2. Stay tall during the rejection phase

3. Build a learning case from the rejection

4. Ensure to remove the shortfalls, if any, that caused rejection

A. Kai-Ashley Clifford (Transformational Success Coach)

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It is important to realize that everybody experiences rejection to some degree. The best thing you can do is to get control of your thinking.

Stop listening to your thoughts and start having gentle conversations with yourself. It hurts to feel like you don’t fit in or no one understands you, but rather than beat yourself up, acknowledge your pain and redirect your thoughts. Remember that your thoughts are NOT you. They are simply old programs repeating in your mind. When you talk to yourself, you can choose the thoughts you want to think instead and begin to change your thinking.

When you change your thinking, you will change how you act and react in The World, and you will start to have different outcomes in your life.

If you combine emotional healing with this method, you will release the fear that holds you back. The best and quickest form I have found to change your thinking and heal from rejection is an energy therapy called The Emotional Freedom Technique, (EFT Tapping) which helped me to overcome social anxiety and the trauma from my childhood! There are plenty of free resources online to help you, especially on YouTube – although working with a gifted practitioner is the most effective way.

A. Gary Dek (Gary at StartABlog123.com)

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First, don’t take it personally. If it’s business, you have to appreciate that everyone has competing interests, existing relationships, and different priorities in mind. You have to realize that people and their perspectives change, which brings me to my second point – “no” is not “never”; it just means “not now”. There have been times in my life where I wasn’t interested in an opportunity at the moment because I was preoccupied with a specific goal and just didn’t see the potential. Later on in life, things changed and the same opportunity I passed up was the one I sought out.

Remember, You Are Lifer When It Comes To Dealing With Rejection!

There is no escaping rejection! It is going to be in your life, whether you like it or not.

When you embrace that fact, you will also embrace some techniques to help you deal with rejection when it shows up in your life.

A Few Last Thoughts About Rejection

If you are rejected because you are not similar enough to someone, then celebrate your uniqueness and move on.

If you are rejected because you didn’t have the skills you needed to have, work on developing those skills and try again.

If you are rejected because of your negative attitude, you may want to work on developing a more positive mindset.

If you are rejected for no apparent reason, then remember what Gary said and don’t take it personally – they may have had different priorities at the moment and may change their mind later on.

And if you are rejected because of their insecurities, then celebrate the fact that you are so great that you make other people feel unsure of themselves.

 

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