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How to Deal With a Negative Person When You Are Trying to Be More Positive

Negative Person? How To Deal With Them
How to deal with a negative person.

There is no shortage of negative people, that’s for sure. They are everywhere! They are your co-workers, your neighbors, your family, your friends, your dates, and strangers that you meet on the street. They are willing to share their negative point of view at every turn and seem to love misery and the company it offers them. But if you are trying to be more positive, then the last person you want hanging around you is a negative person.

Be Understanding Of A Negative Person

One of the best things you can do is be compassionate and understanding of where they are coming from. This will help you observe them and why they are acting the way they are, instead of getting wrapped up in their negativity and emotions. By observing, you can stay in your happy place and avoid catching the negative bug.

Mind Calm is a really great book to read to learn how to do this. It helps you remove the judgement that you put on other people (labeling them as negative or positive) and allows you to see that it is what it is. I highly recommend the book!

Remove Yourself From The Situation

However,  just because you are understanding doesn’t mean you have to waste your time listening to the negative nonsense. If you need to remove yourself from the situation, do so! There is no point wasting time on negative chatter when you are not engaged in it.

Sometimes we have the option of just letting it be and walking away. This is usually when the person is a stranger, neighbor, or co-worker.

When they start to complain and dwell in their misery, you have the option of politely removing yourself from the situation and not allowing the negativity to affect you anymore. Once they recognize you as a person who does not want to dwell on negative things, or even engage in negative talk, then they will most likely stop trying with you and move on to someone else who can indulge their misery.

I had a co-worker like this. She always talked negative about other people, and I would always remove myself before she could get started. Eventually she stopped trying to talk to me about negative things because it was pointless.

If you think standing there and not saying anything is not engaging in their misery, you are wrong. When you do that, you are letting them share their negativity with you, you are taking in their negative energy, and you are planting negative thoughts into your head whether you realize it or not. 

Most people nod their heads as the negative person rambles on, but this is confirming that you believe what they say to be true and allows them to continue on with you.

When you sit there nodding as they spew negativity, you are essentially saying that you are someone who wants to engage in negative conversation with them.

The only way to not engage in a negative conversation is to remove yourself from it altogether. And if you think you are hurting the person’s feelings, well you have to remember that they are not in a happy place anyway. Whether you stay there or not, they are still going to be negative and feeling unhappy. So essentially all you are doing is putting yourself in a better place.

When It Is Not That Easy To Deal With A Negative Person

When you are dealing with negative family and friends, it can be harder to remove yourself from the situation.

The best thing you can do is to tell them outright that you don’t want to engage in their negativity. Tell them that you choose to see the positive side of things and that you don’t like or enjoy talking about the negative side of things.

They are your closest allies in life and they should respect you enough to stop being so negative. Keep in mind that you may have to tell them a few times before they really get the hint.

And, of course, there are some family and friends that just don’t get the hint at all, and all you can do with these people is to accept them for who they are and what they feel but not indulge them in their negative conversations.

You can also try to change the topic to a more positive one or change the subject all together, or you can choose to ignore them when they start to become negative and walk away. The choice is yours, but never let them drag you down with them, and never indulge their negativity no matter how hard they try to bring you in.

You are your own person in this world, and you choose to feel about things and see things the way you want.

No one should be allowed to influence your thoughts or emotions as that privilege should be strictly up to you.

 

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