A breakup can happen for many different reasons, including misunderstandings and things that have nothing to do with the relationship. In those cases, it can be hard to move on from the breakup because the reasons don’t seem valid in your head, but when the breakup occurs over something more serious like betrayal or abuse then it should be easy to move on, right?
Then why are so many people finding it so hard to move on from a breakup that needed to happen due to an unhealthy relationship?
There are two main reasons it can be hard to move on after a breakup, and if you understand those reasons then it becomes easier to move on.
1. The Emotional Connection
The first reason that is holding you back from getting over the breakup and on with your life is the emotional connection you two had.
There are very few people in life that we have a real emotional connection with. Our best friends, some family members, and our intimate partners are a few of the very rare connections that we make like this. The rest of our connections are not on a deeply emotional level, but more of a surface level connection – meaning we don’t share our deepest thoughts and concerns with them like we do with closer relationships.
So the fact that there are very few of these deep emotional connections throughout our lives makes it easy to understand why we have such a hard time letting them go! Those relationships mean something more to us than the average relationship – and letting go of something that we value can be hard.
What you have to remember is that your ex was there to help you get through a specific time in your life, and that time is over. They probably helped you get through some tough times or they may have just taught you a deep lesson about yourself – but either way, you should take what you got from them, appreciate it, and move on to find another deep connection that will be healthier for you.
Try The Emotional Freedom Technique To Deal With Your Breakup Emotions
The emotional freedom technique can help you confront your emotions and move past them.
2. It Sucks To Have To Start Over
The second reason that moving on from a breakup is hard is the fact that you expelled a lot of energy with them and don’t necessarily want to have to do it all over again.
Getting to know each other, dating, getting to know their friends and family, sharing things about your personal life, learning things about them, creating memories, planning a future, and so on and so forth requires a lot of time and energy. The thought of having to do this all over again is much scarier than the thought of just getting back with your ex where you are comfortable and know what is going on (even if the relationship was unhealthy).
This is all about perception. You can’t look at your future with exhaustion and dread. You have to look at it with excitement and passion or else you are not going to want to get out and start experiencing it!
Be excited about new experiences that are coming towards you and the new life you are going to be making for yourself. Get pumped for the future by stopping the negative thoughts about the breakup and the future and replacing them with positive thoughts of excitement for the future.
Don’t think you will ever look forward to the future? Remember that a thought takes a few weeks to fully become a belief, so if you keep focusing on the future, it will eventually become a permanent and exciting belief and you will be freed from your past relationship for good.