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Why My Birthday Makes Me Miserable

Why Your Birthday Can Make You Unhappy

I know firsthand what it is like to have a bad birthday for a few reasons. When I was a kid, my birthdays were fun, but that was because my mom went out of her way to make sure I felt special. Now, I think my age plays a part in how disappointing my birthdays always are, but there is more to it than that.

Other People Like Their Birthdays More

The year I turned 30, my dad turned 60. That was the worst birthday of my life.

I was so excited to get into my 30’s. I had plans of being awesome, quitting bad habits, and rocking my 30’s for everything I could. And I thought that everyone else would be excited for me too.

When I got to my parents, I expected a huge ‘Happy Birthday!’ because, after all, I was moving into my 30’s. Instead, I got a lecture about how 30 is nothing. Wait until I am facing my 60th birthday…that’s the real time to celebrate.

I will never forget how disappointed I felt. Sure, I could have tried to not let my parents affect me, but that is easier said than done when your expectations are high.

The Best And Worst Month To Have A Birthday?

According to this article, June is the best month to have a birthday and November is the month that people are least likely to enjoy their birthday.

My mom’s birthday is in June, and she seems to enjoy. My dad’s is in August, and he likes his birthday too. Those are both pretty good months to have a birthday in my opinion.

But I have to say that January is pretty crappy. Especially early January, like mine.

I was born on January 5th. It is obviously very close to Christmas, after everyone has spent their money, racked up their credit cards, and partied themselves silly.

But, worse, it is just after New Year’s Day, when everyone has spent the remainder of their money and used their leftover energy to party some more.

When I was a kid, my friends were more than willing to come over and celebrate with me. We would go tobogganing and then either have a McDonald’s party or come home to one of my mom’s awesome cakes.

In the adult world, people just don’t have the oomph to celebrate my birthday anymore. Moreover, it is just not that memorable. Even my parents have forgotten to call me on my birthday.

What Makes A Birthday Even Less Special?

When you meet someone special, you don’t really take into account their birthday. Your birthday is supposed to be yours, right?


My husband’s birthday is on January 7th, and it might as well be on January 5th. Our family wants to celebrate it together every year, so we usually do it on the 6th – a day after my actual birthday.

And because he is older he seems to get more of the congratulations during ‘our’ birthday.

Worse, we often get one cake, one present, one dinner out, and one happy birthday greeting.

My Birthday Makes Me Unhappy

I have lost that special feeling that I used to have on my birthday. My husband is a great guy, but he doesn’t take initiative on planning ventures.

On his birthday, I’ve tried to make it special and separate from mine by booking a hotel, getting him his own gifts, making a big deal out of it, etc., but I can’t expect him to be like me – he just doesn’t think of those kinds of things.

In short, I dread my birthday. I would rather not even have one every year because I am reminded of how not special it is.

Starting at Christmas, I am reminded of my birthday coming up, and I get tense. Then, for a few weeks after my birthday, I get to feel that sense of disappointment at another birthday not really celebrated.

And even now, in the end of May, I feel a sense of unhappiness around my birthday.

Next Year I’m Going To Have A Happy Birthday

Most of my birthday disappointment comes from other people. I realize that now. I put too many expectations out there and they never get met.

So, next year I’m going to let go of my expectations of what other people will do for me and, instead, plan my own birthday for myself and my husband.

I’m going to book a hotel for my birthday, go out and have dinner at a place I love to go, and buy myself a gift. I’m going to take my birthday into my own hands and, for the first time in a long time, I’m going to feel happy about it.

Does your birthday make you unhappy? Please share in the comments. 

1 thought on “Why My Birthday Makes Me Miserable”

  1. Turned 30 today and where am I? In bed, at 11 pm because my husband is exactly like what u decsribed, he doesnt know how to plan these things and I always Always Always am left disappointed after every birthday. I have been giving him hints for a year now, I postponed getting pregnant because I wanted to be all sexy for my “30th celebration trip” lol and the result? He is stuck at work and I am stuck at home. Talk about disappotment..

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