Are you going to be single forever? Let me tell you something – you have no idea if you are or not. That’s why I put the ‘forever’ in quotes. Too many people are saying this to themselves, and even though you may FEEL like you are going to be single forever, the truth is you may meet someone perfect tomorrow or you may meet someone two years from now. So, until then, following are some tips on how to be happy single.
1. Change The Way You Talk To Yourself
First, remember that you can’t predict the future, so don’t make negative assumptions in your head that move you away from happy and into miserableland.
When you start using words like ‘forever’, ‘never’ or ‘always’ inside of negative sentences, how can you expect to be happy? It’s impossible.
- I’ll never meet someone nice!
- I’ll always be single and miserable!
- How can I learn to be happy as a single person for the rest of my life!
Welcome to miserableland!
Make a conscious choice to talk to yourself different right now.
- There is a good chance I WILL meet someone nice!
- I will always choose to feel happy, whether I’m single or taken
- I have the ability to live ALL of my life feeling good and happy
Or, any other positive statement that resonates with you as something that should be true.
2. Get The Support You Need
Don’t try to get out of being miserable by yourself. You could do it, but the chances are better if you talk to someone else and work through your issues with someone who can give you feedback. Then you can move on with the mentality of being single and happy.
When you are single and miserable, you find out who your true friends are. The ones that stay are there to listen and support you through the tough times, and if you listen to them, then you can get out of your funk and into a happier place.
And if you have no one like that, reach out to other people in your community. It may even be a stranger or neighbor who reaches out to help you, so don’t turn anyone away.
For example, when I asked JJ from BodynSoil the question “Describe a time someone stuck with you when other people turned away,” she said the following:
“I’m trying to pick one time or person that really was pivotal in my life. I’d like to say it was family when my marriage dissolved; it was a new neighbor who supported me when all others turned away. In the months that it took to process the separation, this person took the time to council me and keep my head above water when I felt alone. I might not have made it through the process without the caring of one stranger who befriended me in my hour of need; I’m eternally grateful for their emotional generosity. In return, over the years I’ve tried to be a supporter to others in an effort to pay it forward.”
And to be honest, you may want to view an ex like this. When they don’t want to ride with you anymore because you are not having a good time, feeling good, acting proper, or anything else, then it is not worth having them come along for your ride when you are feeling good and having the time of your life.
3. Stop Associating Single With Lonely And Relationship With Happy
Single doesn’t always mean lonely and relationship doesn’t always mean happy.
— Love Quotes (@LoveQuotes) October 1, 2015
I’m not sure why we feel that relationships are the answer to happiness. Yes, when relationships are good, everything else feels pretty darn good too. You feel supported, understood, loved, and part of something bigger than yourself. But, that’s only when it is good. So many people are in really bad relationships. And that is as far from good as you can get. When you are single you can choose to be happy. There is no one to fight with. No one to conform to. No one to try to please. And, you can feel pretty darn good being single too. Your friends or family can support, understand, and love you. You can turn to a higher power to find support and understanding. Or, you can just boost your self-esteem and feel good with the person you are and where you are going. The point? Choose to be happy no matter what.
❒Single ❒Taken ✔Happy — ayyjusko (@AyyJusko) October 5, 2015