It’s easy to get caught in a whirlwind of feeling unattractive – to the point of insanity. We think we are too fat, too ugly, too annoying, too whiny, and too undesirable to everyone – even ourselves.
It is time to stop the self-critique.
- Why are you judging yourself harsher than anyone else will ever judge you?
- Why are you beating yourself up over and over again?
- Why are you bringing sadness, anger, and hurt into your life?
- Why are you so focused on the negative when there is so much positive to be focused on?
I often wonder if we all lived on an island far away from media and mean people, would we still be so self-critical? I doubt it!
We are surrounded by influence, and we are letting other people’s opinions and judgments affect how we feel about ourselves instead of allowing ourselves to connect with our true identity.
We are too focused on the physical, and we are forgetting that there is so much more that makes up how attractive we are.
How To Be More Attractive Starting Now
Here are some tips to help you not only be more attractive to yourself and to others, but feel more attractive to yourself and others. In short, you don’t have to change your looks – you just have to change your attitude.
Let Go Of The Past With Forgiveness
We have a way of remembering all of the hurtful things that have been said to us and keeping it in our bag of “I am this…” or “I look like this…” just because someone has said so in the past. Now is the time to let go of anything negative anyone has ever said to you about your appearance or your attractiveness.
They could have been jealous of you, they could have not liked you, they could have said it out of anger or fear, but whatever the reason was it doesn’t mean that you really are what they painted you to be.
I just read a great book called Forgiveness by Iyanla Vanzant (read my review on Forgiveness here), and I think it fits in perfectly here. The book addresses so many things that we hold in our heart and mind because of our past, and how we let that affect the way we feel about ourselves.
If you can forgive what other people have said to you, the choices you have made in life, and the experiences you have, you will feel much better about yourself.
Start Doing Healthy Things
Whether you start working out more, eating better, or just work on being more positive, you will start heading down a path to self-love and be more attractive to yourself. All of these things make you feel better about who you are, which lifts the self-criticism and replaces it with self-acceptance.
It’s not always easy to start doing healthier things. But I have one trick that I just learned that I would like to share.
I was listening to my Silva Mind Body program the other day, and Laura said that her husband has a simple trick for when he want’s to lose a few pounds…he simply talks about himself as if he is a new man. For instance, he will say something like, “The old me didn’t work out in the morning but the new me loves to work out in the morning!” This helps him to become the person he wants to be with the habits he wants to have.
Since I have read that, I have tried it and it works! It makes you feel like you have already changed your habits and it is very convincing to your mind.
Practice Replacing Negative Thoughts With Positive Ones
When you talk to yourself like you are unattractive, you believe you are unattractive.
Did you know that it takes a new thought a few weeks to become a belief? If you think something over and over you will eventually believe it. Knowing that, wouldn’t you rather say positive things to yourself than negative things?
Start replacing your negative thoughts with positive ones.
- When you catch yourself in a negative thought, stop it.
- Say positive things out loud to reaffirm them in your head so they start to turn into a belief.
- Say positive things to yourself in the mirror so you see yourself affirming them.
- Keep saying positive things until that moment when you really believe it.
Be A Good And Happy Person
Yes, this does make you look more attractive and feel more attractive.
Think of how you view happy and good people. You think they are attractive right? Even people who are not conventionally attractive are attractive if they are kind, happy, funny, and loving people.
Now, think of how you view negative and grumpy people. I’m willing to bet they are unattractive to you.
That’s the way people view you too. You are a whole package and not just a body, and people view you as such. (That is also the way you should view yourself.) So be happy and kind, and you will find that people become naturally attracted to you and you will even become more attracted to yourself.
An Example Of Attractive People With Good Qualities
I love Bill and Jen from The Little Couple. They are physically attractive anywase, but the kindness, patience, laughter, love, and strength that they exhibit make them even more attractive. It is hard to be so self-critical when you are such a good person.
Do Activities That Make You Feel Attractive
Go out and take that pole dancing class you’ve been avoiding or the belly dancing class that always makes you feel good about yourself. Doing this kind of dancing makes you pay attention to your real body, not the one you picture in your head, and helps you to focus on all the great things it can do and has to offer.
You can also pamper yourself and buy a new outfit, get a manicure, get a pedicure, or get a massage. All of these things will help you to make you feel better about yourself and refocus your attention on to your attractive qualities rather than your unattractive qualities.