Your relationship habits affect every aspect of your relationship in a good or bad way. When you develop strong (and positive) habits in your relationship, you create a strong and positive environment. When you have fun in your relationship, you look forward to seeing your partner at the end of the day. You want to hang out with them. You feel more connected to them. You talk good about them to everyone around you. You are more inclined to open up to them and let them know how you feel. In other words, developing habits for having fun in your relationship can help you and your partner thrive in the good times and in the bad.
Healthy Habit: Make Date Night Imperative!
Where would my husband and I be without date night? We LOVE date night, and I have a feeling you will too.
Date night (or morning, day, evening, whatever) gives you a chance to get away together and have fun and new experiences together.
According to a report done at the University of Virginia, couples who spend time together at least once a week are 3.5 times more likely to enjoy sex. [Source] To me that means that couples who engage in date nights, where they focus on each other, are simply having more fun together and are more connected than couples who don’t have a date night.
I speak from experience. Date night always leaves me feeling more connected to my man.
If you think that date night is not that important, think of this: I knew a couple who always spent their free time with other people. It was like they were scared to be alone as a couple. Worse, if they did have to be alone, they had a hard time relating so they used alcohol to relate to each other. Where do you think this couple is now? That’s right… they are divorced!
The truth is that I have seen the evidence in more than just that couple. People who do not take time to connect to their partner without other people around are simply less connected to their partner. There is no way to get around it. A connection requires one-on-one time to talk, touch, and as cliché as it sounds, stare into each other’s eyes and get lost in that loving feeling.
A Great Idea For Date Night
Stuck on what to do for date night? Trying going on a date that focuses on fun memories you have shared. For instance, if your first kiss was on a pier by the lake, go to that pier and relive those memories.
If you first had dinner at a small Italian restaurant downtown, go to that restaurant and relive those memories.
The point is to revisit places that mean something to you in order to encourage those feelings of excitement, love and fun that you experienced during those times. Believe me, being at the spot and talking about those moments will bring you right back into them.
Another Great Idea For Date Night: Participate In Something THEY Enjoy
Once you get comfortable in a relationship, it becomes easier to say – “I don’t like doing that so I’ll pass,” without hurting your partner’s feelings too much. But if they really enjoy something (which means that it has some sort of value to them), then showing them that you care about what they value is the ultimate way to say I love you.
ANOTHER Great Idea For Date Night: Adrenaline Activities
When you first met your partner, your levels of adrenaline, among other things, increased, and then dopamine and serotonin were released, which are related to feelings of pleasure.
Bring back that adrenaline feeling that gives you more energy, heightens your senses, increases your breathing, reduces your pain, and increases your strength, by doing an adrenaline activity. When you finish the activity, you and your partner will look at each other through different eyes for a while.
An adrenaline producing activity does not have to be something as extreme as jumping off a mountain. It could be a scary movie or an activity that you are both a little fearful of. For me, paranormal activity would be an adrenaline producing activity.
However, if you want to get crazy try something like:
– A storm chasing tour (yes, they are out there!)
– Swimming with whales
– Going on a rollercoaster
– Sky diving
– Visiting your mother-in-law (or maybe that’s just me!)
Healthy Habit: Experience New Things Together
A relationship can become quite stale and boring after a while. You lose things to talk about and get excited about, and you start to get stuck on a track of same-old routine. You can rectify that though by experiencing new things together.
You experience new things in your life all the time. A new sight, sound, smell, concept or belief can easily come into your life today. You are constantly experiencing new things and it makes you the person you are, so imagine what experiencing new things with your partner will do. It will create a new relationship every time you do so.
You will form new beliefs, new ideas, and even new traditions in the relationship.
A perfect example of experiencing new experiences is travelling to places you have never been. When you experience new places together, you create a bond through the new sights you see and feelings you have. You learn new things about the places you visit, and you learn it together. You literally experience new things together, and after it happens it becomes part of your past that you shared as a couple. That is priceless.
You don’t have to travel far to get the experience of travelling. A night out in your city to a restaurant or place you haven’t been can be a new experience.
In fact, the experience doesn’t even have to be outside of your house. There are plenty of things that you have not done in your home, and all you have to do is look for something that interests you and your partner and do it.
Healthy Habit: Laugh Together Daily – (Talk About Having Fun!)
“Laughter is more than just a pleasurable activity…When people laugh together, they tend to talk and touch more and to make eye contact more frequently.”
— Gretchen Rubin (The Happiness Project)
Laughter is one of the traits that attract us to someone. In a relationship, it is an effective tool to work through issues, share fun memories together, and keep the attraction alive.
Laughter is playful, and healthy relationships are also playful. When you can laugh at yourself and your partner you can be much stronger when negative situations arise.
But it is important to remember that there is a difference between sharing laughter and poking fun. I remember a family member who used to joke about his wife’s weight. He did it in good fun because she would joke about it too. He thought they were having fun in a weird way. But one day she had enough and felt like she was being made fun of. It was more hurtful than it was helpful to the relationship.
How To Laugh Together More
Sometimes my husband can make me laugh, and sometimes I can make him laugh, but sometimes our sense of humor just doesn’t line up. That’s when we need to use outside techniques to have fun and laugh together.
Seeing a funny movie, going to a comedy club, or catching a live show together will cause us to laugh together, and as a bonus, that laughter often leads to us having fun during our conversations and interactions during and after the outside influence is finished.
Also, always look for the humor in a situation when you are out and about. It is so easy to get caught up in complaining and make that the focus of your time together, so try to consciously reroute that complaining and make laughter the focus.
Looking for the humor in a situation is much like looking for things to be grateful for. The more you do it, the easier it becomes to spot it.